I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
