Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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