hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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