I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
