She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
