I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
