OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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