God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
