I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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