All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
