I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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