When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
