I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
