The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
