and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
