No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
