And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
