i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
