Walk of Shame. In a state park.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
