i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
