I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
