do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize