a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize