is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
