How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
