There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
