So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
