mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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