Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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