I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
