Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
