I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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