I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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