Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need water and some morals
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize