The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
