alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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