Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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