hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
