Where did you get a picture of my penis
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
