Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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