Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize