Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize