Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
