that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
