i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
