I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
