I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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