I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
should my penis look like a turkey
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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