first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
