The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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