nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
