they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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