OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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