just tell him i said nine months
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
