I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
