running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
