i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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