you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
