whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
