I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pants are for mortals
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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