So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
