Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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