Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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