Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
